Alright, I’ve got a bone to pick with all those people who put those stupid ‘my family’ stickers on the backs of their cars. To see them in all their profound ugliness, click the link: http://www.thestickerfamily.com.au/
(By the way, I am now ashamed to say that I have this web address in my internet history)
So now that you all know what they look like, in case you didn’t beforehand, I will make my argument:
Firstly, they are a waste of money.
Secondly, they’re ugly.
Thirdly, there’s no actual point to them.
Lastly, and most importantly, if I wanted to know what a stick figure version of your family looked like, I’d – oh wait, I don’t need to finish that sentence, because I honestly don’t care what they look like.
I’ll bet you, that if you took to the streets and started asking people if they wanted to see a picture of your family, stick figure or otherwise, they’d either ignore you or say “HELL. NO.” So what makes putting a million cartoon pictures of yourselves and your seven ponies on the back of the car any different?
On the opposite end of the spectrum are the lonely P plate girls with just them stuck onto their back windshield, looking all skinny and chipper. Newsflash, actually, that’s not a family. That’s just you.
What you’ll also notice, is that most of the people with those revolting things stuck onto their car are, in fact, female. These days, you can’t walk past a news agency without seeing some forty year old woman ooh-ing and ahh-ing over the stupid little things, while her husband stands next to her looking depressed. They try not to look at the stickers, and at the same time avoid eye contact with any other human being at all costs, for fear of being socially ousted. The only thing they can do to make themselves feel better is insist that either the surfer or the bodybuilder sticker looks most like them. Small consolation, in my opinion.
Rip those stickers off, ladies! And go give your man a hug!
And to all the rest of you ‘my family’ sticker toting people, I’m sending you a message on behalf of the world: We don’t care what your family looks like. Have a nice day.
I've never seen p platers with theirselves on their car, but how hilarious! XD
ReplyDeleteI agree 100% I don't know what people in AUS do but in the US people have a never ending supply of retched stickers: Calvin praying, Calvin peeing on things they don't like- most notably random car brand logos, oh yes, the family stickers of endless varieties, but the worst of all is the epitaph- there is no worse way to memorialize a loved one who has died than to put their name, date of birth/date of death on your shitty, dusty, old car. no one knows who they were from just a name anyway. the epitome of white trash.
ReplyDeleteOne car. A Toyota Tarago. Twenty-three My Family stickers spanning two-thirds of the rear window. Record?! Sad.
ReplyDeleteShould have snapped a photo before I started counting them as it took way longer than I had expected.
Don't try to rationalize it...your list of "reasons" up there is pretty pathetic. Just say you're annoyed with it and move on. Trying to make it out to be a moral issue makes you look like a spoiled crybaby.
ReplyDelete